A Funny Thing Happened in the ER

So, remember all that abdominal pain I was having? I'd been at the ER once for a ruptured ovarian cyst and then later was treated for a duodenal ulcer. Well one day after Labor Day, I woke up and was having abdominal pain AGAIN, but different. And was kind of weirdly bloated and was nauseous and could barely get out of bed.

Glenn was pretty worried by this point and carted me off to the ER. We should have waited and gone to the doctor, but things had been so weird and not really definitively diagnosed with my health, we didn't know what was what anymore. I was feeling mostly doomed; since no test had shown anything evil I was convinced I had some weird, hard-to-find cancer or something.

We were nervous in the ER waiting room, and so as they made announcements over the loudspeaker we were making jokes to keep things light. "Baby Call, Line 5," they announced, and I leaned over and said "They're going to need a translator for that one." Then it was: "Acute Stroke, Line 8." We both looked at each other, shook our heads in mock disapproval and said what a terrible thing to name your kid that was.

So then we finally met with a doctor (after they taken blood, urine, etc. from me) and he told us I did show signs of a growth. A HUMAN GROWTH. The kind that gets removed 9 months later! Sometime around when I was being treated for an ulcer, I'd conceived (like the true masochist I am). We of course immediately decided our kid's name should be Acute Stroke.

I then got wheeled around on a stretcher for an ultrasound on which we could see there was um, some gray stuff. Oh, and a dot. I then was left on the stretcher in the hall of the ER for a couple of hours (during which time I busted a crime in progress -- needle theft -- and spoke to hospital security for their report an hour later, still in the gown, still on the stretcher, still in the hall).

Eventually (nine and a half hours after we'd arrived…) a new doctor walked by and said "okay, we should get you out of here, you've got an intrauterine pregnancy" while walking by. Glenn and I both shouted "WHAT?" and then we remembered that in-the-uterus was Good, and where it was supposed to be, and cracked up. I yelled "um, yeah okay, but so why have I had so many months of abdominal pain?!" He just shrugged.

So, Acute Stroke has already been on TV (ultrasound) three times. Once in the ER, once to verify it was a solo act as there was some indication AS could have a twin, and once to check for any early signs of Downs (no signs found). The last time we watched Baby TV, the little shrimp was doing a pretty good imitation of the infamous Dancing Baby. ETA = early May.

So here's where I need your advice: I have a good three month window starting this week to take a trip somewhere. I'm considering the Caribbean, since it's warm at this time, is in the same time zone as New England and not too far of a flight. I need your suggestions. I will be tired. I enjoy nature, like seeing parrots and snorkeling with fish and seeing whales, and I would travel just to eat something interesting. I'm not into party spots or too much time lying in the sun. I can't hike as far as usual. So, help the preggy lady out! Where should I go for my "babymoon?"

Happy Halloween

We attended a costume party on Saturday night. This party has a theme each year, and this one was "Hellenic." The concept of a toga party didn't totally appeal, so we did our best. Glenn did especially great, since he requires a cattle prod to get him to wear a costume. He came up with a beer hat -- the kind with two cans and tubing down to the mouth. He'd relabled them Hemlock (with some very funny fine print) and had a "Hello My Name is Tag" that read "Socrates." It was excellent. (He was wearing a t-shirt of a Moose on the side of a triangle for an extra Greek inside joke...) I wore a toga-like outfit with a insanely big white afro (I looked super fly in the black-lit bathroom there) and the following bling:

We met up with some friends there, including a truly impressive Greek salad, "Oh-limp-ass" (Olympus), Pandora, Medusa, one of the Sirens, and more.

We don't really get trick or treaters at my urban house, so tell me if you get any good ones. A friend told me about a pretty good costume she saw last year: a guy came as a "chick magnet" by glueing Peeps all over his clothes. One of my favorites was an election year when my friend and office mate at the time came as a voting booth ( you could part the curtains and be inside, facing her, lol). Oh, and a fairy tale themed party when I was wearing a hat that looked like a large pie with blackbirds coming out of it and my friend the Greek Salad was The Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe, with the complete shoe encasing her and small dolls constantly falling out of it as she walked around.

Time for Heat

I'm a good Yankee, and I can wait a long time to turn on my heat. This week we had the sign that it was time. When I get up from my chair and am displaced by not one, but two heat-seaking kitties, up goes the thermostat!

Where is Id?

Tanya Donelly put out a new album today. I have been waiting for this for some time. I adore Tanya Donelly. Her voice travels my spine with its range of emotion, and her lyrics have always been this free-flowing spew of id that has freed my own creativity; I've written a number of poems and letters while listening to her previous albums.

I went and watched her play an acoustic set at an in-store preview to celebrate the CD release at lunchtime. It was a tiny store and there was not a huge crowd; a huge crowd would never fit in that little store. Several people held babies. I sat on the floor, about five feet from her and marveled at the amazing emotional spectrum issuing from a woman who was basically sitting still on a stool. She truly pours it out of some other dimension.

I wasn't entirely sure what I thought of the songs while listening. I was so caught up in the performance. However, upon first listen, this album is very mellow and has some nice songs but I'm missing the id. Please world, do not have beat this out of Tanya Donelly. The album was recorded mostly live at a hotel in Vermont, and it includes Joan Wasser (dambuilders), Rich Gilbert, and Bill Janovitz among others.

On a similarly mellow front, the new acoustic album from Bettie Serveert is a really pretty mellow listen. I'm looking forward to checking out the DVD that came with it, which looks to include her cover of Bright Eyes' "Lover I Don't Have to Love."

Tex in the City

We were in Dallas for a wedding this weekend. When we got off the plane it was lunchtime, so we decided to brave the Lone Star State's best at the Texas State Fair.



What to eat? There were oozing yellow industrial nachos, but then there were fried corny dogs, fried oreos, fried snickers, fried COKE (really coke flavored batter in coke syrup), fried marshmallows, fried pralines, fried peanut butter & jelly & banana sandwiches, fried green tomatoes, fried okra, and fried cheese-stuffed, tortilla-rolled sausages.


As always, the saddest part about fried food comes after it's all gone. You know, in the space before the waves of nausea and regret.


There was a mammoth car show, tons of agricultural events with prize-winning pigs and sheep and goats and horses, a short history of locally made Dr. Pepper, a large midway, and much more. We didn't dare any rides after eating but we did decide to venture into a freak show booth that promised us two-headed turtles and snakes and were not disappointed!

Flufferheffalumps on a Train!

I live in a fairly interesting place when I pay attention. For instance, last week we had a little celebration down the street in Union Square to honor a man with a truly excellent name: Archibald Query.

While you may have thought Marshmallow Fluff was invented in the 1940s, it was actually invented by our man Archie right here in 1917 or so. It's said the sugar shortages of WWI squashed his door to door sales effort and he sold it off.

If you're not from the northeast, you did not grow up on Fluffernutter and will not appreciate this fact, and you may be really grossed out to know we adore sugar sandwiches in our school lunches here even while trying to abolish soda in vending machines in schools. You should, however, appreciate this winner in the science experiment and food contest: a fluff volcano cake, complete with dry ice-induced steam and bubbles. Sweet.



Meanwhile if you aren't too distracted by the wacky MIT dorm building in this photo, you will notice something I've been watching for: The Barnum & Bailey Circus Train. That's right, the circus folk live in the cars, most of them have bikes parked outside the door. I think the train has all the amenities of a small town, including a post office.



See, I'm not waiting to run away with the circus, though I'd probably fit right in. I'm waiting to see an event that I think I probably missed again. They walk the elephants from my neighborhood to the Boston Garden for the circus, but it's not publicized when they'll do it. Look at this great shot someone got last year of the parade of heffalumps in front of the Stata Center.

Dreaming of PJs

Last night I dreamed that I was a "private journalist" (PJ). We were called "elite journalists" to the public. Basically, really rich people who realized their news was getting filtered through too many ads and politics and mass-media simplification, etc. hired people like me to report in depth on a particular topic. They then formed salon-like clubs with their other rich friends who had private journalists on other topics so they could share info.